I'm right here

Greetings...

I know I haven't written on my blog in quite some time...but that's because I've been everywhere and no where. Each day passes so quickly, yet each day still brings with it the good times.

To begin, I will share with you that I am staying in SA another year through the JVC program! It was a long discernment process, but I feel so right with it. And everyone here has expressed their excitement about it too. Now that I have extended my stay, that means you have more time to visit San Antonio. I've gotten fairly good at being a tour guide to all the essentials of the city and giving you a glimpse into the life of a local. It's free of charge; only your presence will do. And since you're special, I'll take you dancing too. But I must tell you, you're on your own to see the Alamo...I've been more times than I want and I look at the poor thing and shake my head...no wonder we lost...(you will understand this comment when you come to SA).

With this new decision, comes much enthusiasm...
I hope to develop the office some more - I've got ideas.
And the youth - oh the youth - another year to spend with them. Some will start faith formation classes with me next fall, others will apply to colleges and graduate high school. Quinces are already on the calendar and the question of, "Can we go to 6 flags?" is still in our everyday conversations.
I also look forward to developing deeper relationships with the staff and parishioners, as well as meet many more people.
I also hope to know my city more - to discover the services and organizations that are out there that serve my client population and to connect with them, but also to explore the gems of the city, chill at the local eateries and participate in the festivities.

In other news, I've felt like I'm on a roller coaster...experiencing those ups and downs...you know what I'm talking about. There are days when I feel extremely nostalgic for home. I wake up in the morning and it reminds me of waking up in one of three places: San Diego, Tijuana or Costa Rica. And I relive that moment for a short while, knowing that I very much miss those places of consolation and belonging. I also feel nostalgic for genuine, deep and loving relationships. All I want is to be hugged by my mom and dad, to feel ok with struggling in front of someone else, and to be completely silly with my friends. And I'm searching for God...well, I know God is here, I just have to want to open my eyes. At times, I choose not to engage, I choose not to bother...then I look at myself and question why I dare do such a thing. God gives me life, God gives me challenges, opportunities...yet I'm too exhausted to take it...or just afraid. I've closed myself off so much, why should I try opening myself up again, even to God? I talk to the youth about a relationship with God, I lead prayers, and I teach Catechism, but I've left my relationship on the back burner. I say, "I'm too busy, I'm too tired, I've got all this to do before I sit down with God." I recognize where I fall short and where I give up too easily. And I'm trying. Trying to be more mindful, less selfish, slow to anger, more present, more understanding, more loving...AKA more like Christ.

...So those are the loops of the roller coaster...the ones that make you sick..but I've got some hills in my life too (those are the ones that are thrilling).
*You know when you just have a really good conversation? Like really, really good? Genuine, honest, and enjoyable? I had one of those the other day...with my lovely friend Kelsey. We were chilling in the coffee shop, and I wished time could go on forever...I enjoy her presence so much.
*I'm going on a retreat this weekend! Woop, woop, I get to be a participant this time!
*Dancing has made me extremely happy and free
*We are in the middle of spring break for the youth. It's been fun spending time with them everyday.
*The coffee shop across the street now sells organic, fair trade coffee.
*I met the Archbishop of San Antonio..yea I feel special. Kelsey is practically best friends with him...I love it!
Those are all my hills for the current moment. Thank you for sharing in my life, and taking the time to read about all that's in my mind...and taking the time to care =)