Presente!

Each day never seems to be the same. Yes, my routine is fairly in order, but it's those little happenings, the people that you meet, and the unexpected task you have to complete, that create my day.

The month of April brought with it many busy days. The arrival of Easter quickly approached, and we prepped for all the goodies that go along with the final days of Lent. Every weekend, Laura, Lee and I worked with the youth to present the Stations of the Cross and proclaim the Gospel on Palm Sunday (it was all done in silent action). When their time came, they were incredibly awesome. It was amazing to witness the transformation of nervous, self-doubting kids turn into beautiful, mature and confident youth. At the moment, we were also juggling the numerous preparations needed for Confirmation, including the retreats and scrutinies. Before I could blink twice, Confirmation and the Easter Vigil were upon us - the kiddos arrived in lovely dresses and ironed shirts and slacks. They stood with confidence and confessed their faith, and were anointed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They all glowed that night; it was one of the proudest moments of my life.

Therese, my former roommate, visited shortly after and I wished those days could have lasted forever. We had such a great time together, just to love each other, laugh, cry, catch up in life, and of course dance and sing to Spanish music!

The day after Therese left, the Casa G community road tripped it to Ponchatoula, Louisiana for our silent retreat, which was AWESOME. It was a unique experience, and it gave me the opportunity to bask in God’s loving presence, comfort and reassurance, as well as examine what kept holding me back this year. The struggles in community had exposed a lot of hurt, and now I took the time to break it open and look at the root of what caused my pain.

After the silent retreat, we were like “Heck, we’re all the way in Louisiana, let’s go to Georgia!” So we drove another eight hours to Atlanta and spent the weekend with the JV girls. Atlanta is a thriving city with its rich culture and history. We visited Morehouse College where MLK attended school, then took a jaunt over to the MLK Memorial and gravesite and then sauntered through the Sweet Auburn street fair that was incredibly lively with music and food. There was a gentleman tap dancing at the festival and I was this close (hold up your thumb and pointer finger) to joining him if I wasn’t wearing flip flops!

Now here we are in May. The work this month has been very slow. Yesterday I struggled with how much time I had on my hands. I felt unproductive and frustrated that I couldn't muster up a single ounce of motivation to do anything. I’ve always set high expectations for myself (a lot has to do with accomplishments) and sooner or later, I find myself repeatedly downtrodden, unable to recover from my disappointment. My expectations create a facade for my life- this is what I want to see happen- but I fail to recognize that doesn't necessarily jive with the truth. Acknowledging my limitations, I start again, seeking accompaniment along my journey.

Through the presence of wise people in my life, I recognized that life is so worth it when I change perspective. I get so wrapped up in what I’m doing (or not doing), and how I’m feeling, that God says, “Ok Megan, take a chill pill. I’ll give you something to shake you back to your senses.” And people join me on my path. One of my dearest clients passed away 20 days ago. It’s been a long journey with her and her only daughter – which is her entire family. Helping her daughter grieve and stay on her feet would have been futile if I had surrounded myself with tasky items that I needed to do immediately. I also wouldn’t have met the gentleman whom I found crumpled up outside of the church, crying in fear of isolation and the unknown as he was just released from prison the day before. I also wouldn't have been fully present to the clients that came into my office, who let go of the anxiety and exhaustion they kept pent up inside. Through these God-given moments, I discovered I was meant to just be. Just be a friend. Just be a listener. Just be present. Just be Megan…the young woman God has created me to be.